Saying goodbye to my best volunteer friend on Sunday morning hit hard.
I'm leaving this place I call "home" in nine days. Up until yesterday, I didn't care- I was tired of it here, I couldn't wait to see my boyfriend, I wanted to travel and start a new life.
But saying goodbye to her changed everything. It's not that I don't want to leave (because I do), it's just that I've seen the other side of picking up and leaving a place that I've lived for five months. I'll never be back. I'm leaving all the friends I've made, my home, my jobs, the ocean, my kittens, the things I'm comfortable doing (riding in bush taxis, being dirty and sweaty all the time, sandy streets, bartering, speaking the African languages- Mandinka and Wolof, dealing with the biggest bugs I've ever seen, being hot constantly... the list goes on) that I never thought I'd conquer.
And I�m nervous about being with someone for 24/7 for three months. I�m excited as h3ll, but I�m really nervous. The closest I�ve come to doing that was a road trip with Ty through New England last fall, and it only lasted (a very do-able) eight days. Although I�ve been in this relationship for six months, I�ve only been in his company (as his g1rlfriend) for six weeks, and I�m h3lla nervous.
I�ve done a lot in the past five months, seen a lot of things I could never have imagined doing, and I�ve done it alone. I�ve lived in Africa, worked in Africa, and now I�m leaving to go back into the Real World, and I�m scared.
It takes a 1ot to scare me, so let me just state that I�m petrified.
3:15 p.m. - January 12, 2004
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