When I have no one to talk to, I end up doing a lot of self-exploration. My first two months of being in Africa, I didn�t have anyone to really converse with. Acquaintances and I would chitchat, if I was lucky to get a word in edgewise, so I thought about my Self, my Life.
I am twenty-three years old. I�ve convinced myself that this is the last age that I�m going to be happy saying out loud. Everything after this is downhill. It doesn�t matter how much I�ve done in my years (though I do try to convince myself otherwise), I�m getting older- and I don�t like it.
My best friend and I decided a couple of years ago that we were happy to be in our twenties, because, simply, teenagers are annoying.
Anyone who knows me knows that I�m scared of growing up because so many grown ups are unhappy. I never, ever see the point in doing things that make you unhappy- but so many people fall into the trap of doing things they hate- because they feel trapped. They hate their jobs, they hate their mate, they hate where they live...
You can change all of these things. You don�t have to keep these elements in your life, but people always do. I don�t understand it.
Maybe in some ways, I�m a control freak. But I don�t think it�s a bad quality to have (all the time). It just means that I�ll always be in control of my happiness. Ah yes� I keep forgetting, I�m not really just me anymore, I�m part of an us. Fitting this into my life is going to be a challenge. Six weeks more, and we�ll be together. Ready, steady, go.
Little Alice is changing before your eyes.
1:46 p.m. - December 08, 2003
Recent entries:
It's been twenty years. - September 07, 2021
Don't Delete Me, Dland! - October 20, 2004
Started Again - March 22, 2004
The End - January 19, 2004
Tofu - January 15, 2004
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