I'm having trouble even beginning this entry.

Fuck it.

This is my online life. I belong to several online communities (the land of bloggers and body modifiers), and I love them both. Each offering different things and such different people.

I love online. I love the Internet. I can't imagine my life without it. Not to say that I'd pass up a party in real life to stay in front of a computer, but I do love feeling connected to the people that I normally (that is, if we had the same level of technology that we did 15-20 years ago) wouldn't be able to talk with. I love being able to be faceless if I want to be.

I like allowing people to see as much of me as I want them to. I like being able to show them the good parts and leave out the bad parts (or vice versa). I like being able to be honest and say what I want to say because if you don't like it, you don't have to come back and I won't even know that you exist.

I like existing, but I also like being a secret.

**

I cringe when I think of this place being locked. I hate it. But... it's either that or erasing all the things I've written about him and never mentioning him again, or keeping it locked. For now, I'm going to lock it... but the chances of it staying locked? Not sure.

FUCKCKCKKCCKCK. I hate the fact that I can't write about the things that I think about for fear of hurting/offending/pissing someone off. This is my fucking journal and I didn't give you permission to read it and it's not fair that I'm being censored over and over and over again.