And so, yesterday I realized that I was counting down the days to my departure in a very unhealthy way.

It's paradise here. It really is. I love it. It's warm and sunny and rainy (but a wonderful kind of rain that downpours for an hour to two and then magically stops and clears... but leaves everything looking fresh and clean and healthy). It's got sand everywhere from the Sahara. It's got palm trees with unripened coconuts. It's got fresh (organic?) vegetables. It's got friendly people and it's new and exciting.

It's got the ocean. And a warm ocean with shells in the sand that My Atlantic doesn't offer.

And at night time, I think about leaving. I think about how happy I'll be to see Him again. And I don't pay attention to my life here, and how wonderful and beautiful it is, because I'm too set on going back to the comforts of home. The comforts of him.

So, I've decided to stop that. Though I know it's hard- trying to keep up the feelings I have for Him, yet trying to enjoy my time here. It's a very shakey balance that I haven't yet conqured. Memories of home, of my family, of my friends, of him- they're quickly dissapearing. It's mainly because there's nothing here to remind me of there. I have about a dozen photos. Some of Him, some of her some of the family... but I don't have anything else.

So, at night, if I'm feeling homesick, or sick of The Gambia and sick of the heat and sick of the mosquitos and sick of feeling hot and clammy all the time, I drown myself in a book. I've been here for a little over three weeks, and I'm almost finished my seventh or eigth novel (and I'm not talking puney paperbacks... I read Stephen King's The Green Mile in two days- it's 453 pages). Sometimes I'll look up and suddenly realize where I am and how far away I am.

And then all I have to do is look out at the African sky, and see THE most beautiful clouds I've ever seen in my life, and I'm happy to be here.

... oh, and a carton of cigarettes are about $15 Canadian dollars here. I don't think I'm quitting quuuuiite yet. Boo yeah.