Last night, I stayed up talking to this Canadian, working in The Gambia for the UN. A good guy, two years older than me, drinks a lot, and has the nicest eyes I've ever seen.

He's recently gotten married- as in, last week- and no one knows about it.

I was one of the first people that he told. Not even his family knows.

A whirlwind romance? Hmmm... he and his girl have been together for eight months or so, but I think they mainly got married because it was financially better for them.

But who am I to judge. But he did talk about "if it doesn't end up working out in the end," which is NEVER a good sign.

So, yeah. Got me thinking.

Marriage!

I have had a craving to be a wifey for a couple of years. No one in particular, but I think it'd be fucking wicked to be part of a young married couple. Not sure why- it seems like a hip thing to do. Getting married young- it just seems much more romantic than being with someone for years and years, and then marrying them only because it seems like that's what the next step is. What you're supposed to do.

I don't want that.

I want to be married in a hurry. I want to wake up one morning, look over at my boyfriend, and we'll say, "I think today's a good day, don't you?" And then we'll go out and get married.

And then have a big party.

Or something. Or maybe not.

I think it'd also be nice to take time and choose a wedding dress and the flowers and the food and the location. Ask my sister to be my maid of honour and my mother to walk me to my husband-to-be. I want to be married outside. I want to be married by the sea. And then I want to have a big party, but I don't want there to be dancing- because dancing sucks. And everyone knows us Maritimers can't dance. But there will be bongo drums and guitars and everyone will have a good time. And a campfire. Because that's what we do.

And then, he and I will leave everyone and take off on a big trip- but not for relaxing or for a vacation- but a trip that's meant to be hectic and wonderful.

But that's a lot of planning, and I don't plan for anything. But I would like to be in a great dress, and I would like him to be in a tux.

Damnit. I'm growing up. In six months, I'll be 24. I can't hide it anymore. I want to be comfortable! I want to share my life with someone. I want new and exciting things, but I want to share them with someone. I want to work hard and build a house or fix up a farm house. I want a steady income and I want a garden and I want to do our laundry together. I want to know that my life is happy but stable.

I've been wandering for the past five years, and I'm ready to stop. I can't do it anymore. I'm tired of doing things by myself and I'm tired of doing things that no one else will remember but me. It's that time.